Sudarshan KRiya!!!

Alarmed!! Half an hour to go 7am..i swing  out of my heavenly bed  ( something I never do on a Sunday) and  prepare to leave for the mahakriya…now I’ll explain the term later…last day of oct and the beginning of my  fav period of the year..the winters…I kickstart my bike and follow the way to kalagram, the venue..
Winters  are slipping in  slowly.. The season  that makes my bed heaven..if really, then what had lured me  this morning  to escape the divine experience of sleep?
flashback!!!!  16th sept… memorable for sure..The day I learned to practise sudarshan kriya..Before I let you know about what sudarshan kriya is,I must mention that I  had joined the yes plus course( art of living) by then..
Sudarshan kriya as we were taught in the workshop is a meditation activity  supported with some  breathing exercises…Meditation  the word I had  been always fascinated about even though I didn’t know what actually it was.. and a sole reason to join art of living…
We were made to sit in a posture known as the  sukhasan..randmly  I just saw the time which was 7.15 pm.
The entire hall of 200 fresh candidates chanted om in chorus…
After a few breathing exercises for  some minutes, we were asked to relax our body and mind,even lay down if we wished to..i prefer laying down always..:):)
Now I was wondering in my thoughts what kind of a stupid activity it was, nowhere around meditation…I had read, and seen on tv  that in meditation we were suppose to concernterate, not let thoughts come in our  mind,and feel isolated .Evrything was going opposite to the concept of meditation I knew…I with my eyes closed was aware of everything around..I was in my complete senses and the term sudarshan kriya seemed crap and waste to me..i just started planning to get my fees refund and quit the course…I was sure that the entire activity was no more than 40 min longer..
We got up in our normal sitting postures opened our eyes and all at sudden I could feel the irritation of the tube light in front high my head into my eyes, as if I had slept for hours..i felt lighter,relaxed,and fresh..

But still the  activity didn’t convince me that I had learned meditation….Following, few candidates stood up and shared their experiences as how they felt..Some confessed they felt like flying up, some couldn’t help the natural smile on their faces,some expressed they had escaped all their worries and were enlightened to positivity…and I in my mind I thought!!(( kanjar saale nautanki) because I didn’t feel anyway around to what the  entire hall was celeberating…

But yes something did happen to me as well..but what? I wasn’t able to figure as to what those 40 min had done to me..The session was declared over for the day..i expected it to continue for more..i looked at my watch and to my greatest amaze…it was over 9.15 pm…
              Ghosh!! How it could be…the entire acitivity to which I thought took 40 min actually happened for more than 2 hrs…I kept wondering and recalling to what I was thinking during the kriya but I could hardly remember..these were the few thoughts that I remember…this arose my eagerness to continue with the course and practice this kriya regularily..
      Hve been doing it daily since then and have realized what importance and power it holds….without diving in too many theories of wether it should be done or not, I just do it because I want to.. it provides me with  divinity and joy that hardly any other activity does. .i somehow eased from all  worries that had trapped my mind..bliss is the feel that every nerve in my body is enjoying..apart,the kriya has helped me fight the odious tremblence in my hands...and yes, though late, but the subsequent effects all candidates shared the very first day, to which i couldnt relate have actually happened to me.  .i have always tried to be humorous and easy going even before i learned kriya, and now this spiritual activity is helping me to sustain  with the same and gain focus..
       Have reached kalagram…I take my mat and run towards the open air theatre where a huge gathering in hundreds was about to start the divine experience of sudarshan kriya..kriya being performed in such a huge count generates more  positive vibes and is thus termed as the mahakriya..
its peace...
jai guru dev.!!

Axe me down...

Don't know how i have started trusting this page more than anything and anybody on this planet..i feel it allows me to express whatever i want and  for how so ever long.. it wont question back or argue..This time am not here to criticise( something am practising to quit), neither am going to discuss the steaming current affair the country is mad about,not a holiday diary..its only about what has gone wrong with me..
what are the  most common reasons  for frustration to take over  our mind? When we fail to follow the schedule we planned,,a mere fight with our friends that requires us to convince them back whole day,lazyness that is not letting us do something,etc..wonder  my mental state is being conquered from all sides at once..
After so many years I have structured a busy routine..i wake up, attend college, attend a course, then another..i come back  do a little follow up stuff and finally collapse to sleep to continue the loop..Am all alert  and excited to whatever shall happen to me in upcoming months..and one day a stampede of negativity  traps my mind that all this shall end  up into nothing and I would be a fool wondering what went wrong..hughh!! I feel doing nothing and immerse myself into a deep thought procedure..somehow the loop  alarms me  that deals like these are not tough for me..i’ll sail and achieve..but what should I do to the insomniac nights?
Another problem with me lies in my habbit of making fun or insulting( as they say).i invest my energy all day making others laugh..they do..they enjoy and all at sudden they end up yelling at me that I shouldn’t have said this or that... how is it when your own loved ones dont want to listen anymore, when asking for apology and waiting for things to bounce back normal is the only choice..waiting!! something i have always hated the most..it feels embarrasing..:(
[ my mobile apologised to 7 different people last night..)
my idea of making fun, cracking PJ'S 24*7,laughing unecessarily doesnt mean i hve nothing more purposeful to do..yes! thats what mates around end up concluding.."ye pagal h,, akal kahan h isse,,,ye kya smjhega kisi ko!! ghosh!!
Its only I have priortised my life towards fun and laughter..it makes me go easy,something I wish for everybody around..
This post may appear tainted to some, but this is something bothering me a lot..sometimes I wish I had gun  to blow everybody responsible..or better  would be to axe myself down..